Newsletter Stories

2/12/02
"A Trip To Costco"

For all of you out there that belong to Costco, you will know what I mean about the following comments. What is it about this place that makes you feel that you have more money in your bank account than you really have? I'm starting to think that when you walk through those big open doors that you pass through some vortex that re-programs you to think that you need way more than what you really came for. I'm guessing that the guy standing at the door checking your card is giving you some kind of subliminal message when he says "Hello, Welcome to Costco". In Costco-ese that really means, "Come on in, spend all your money, you know you can't pass up a good deal".

Just think if the motorcycle dealerships tried this kind of marketing. You would go in looking for a chrome headlight ring and walk out with 3 of them wrapped in plastic. You take it home and say, "Hey, look at this good deal I got on these headlight rings, I only have one headlight but it was a much better deal if I bought three." And they are wrapped in this really neat plastic. Duh! Sounds pretty crazy when you put it that way doesn't it? I'd use those two extra headlight rings at about the same time I would use those 2 extra mega cans of WD-40 that you get at Costco.

What I went there for was a really neat motorcycle jack that they have right now. It holds up to 1500 pounds and comes with 4 tie downs for only $89.99. It is a great deal for sure. And the good part is that it retracts very low so that you can get it under any bike easily. Since I was still under the spell of the guy at the front door, I also picked up a 40 lb. bag of M&M's, 900 pack of paper towels, 200 rolls of toilet paper, 20 gallons of laundry detergent and a 55 gallon drum of Skippy's peanut butter (creamy) and those 3 cans of WD-40.

And what about this guy at the exit? We walk out of there with 30 different items crammed in the cart and he actually thinks we believe that he is looking at everything and comparing it to the receipt. As he looks down and pretends to count everything it is doubtful that he knows what's in the cart, but I'll bet he can tell us what color of shoes we are wearing. The real truth is that he is there to de-program us so that when we go over to Sam's Club we won't spend any money. So anyway, go check out the deal on the jack, just don't look the guy in the eye when you walk in the door.