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The last couple of week's newsletters have been pretty heavy, so I decided to take a break and write about some observations I have had. As most of you know by now, I tend to look at things and see more than is on the surface. To examine why things are the way they are. In doing so this past weekend, I have found that apparently someone is passing out free "Stupid Pills" and a lot of people are taking them. Like the lady I videoed last week who must carry a travel pack of them. Otherwise, I wouldn't have to waste my time reading Dumb Warning Labels. I went to look at a new gas grill this past Saturday. As I was inspecting the grill I saw a sticker that said: "Warning! Grill may become hot." Now correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that why I am buying the grill? So are they warning me that the grill is actually going to do what I think it is going to do? Or are they warning the person high on "Stupid Pills" that when they plunk down their $200 for the grill not to cook meat that is attached to their body?

After being intrigued by the warning that my new gas grill was actually going to become hot, I decided to look around at a few other items that might warn me of the obvious.
Here are a few that I found:
1. On a Chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop blade with your hands."
(Just in case you thought that just because it was cutting through that 10" tree that it would not hurt your hands.)

2. This is on a Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery."
(I don't know about you, but I think it is a good idea to keep the 5 year olds off the fork lifts and out of the drivers seat no matter what they are drinking.)

3. On a Craftsman Push Mower: "Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running."
(Hmmm, what can you say about this one, you have to be OD'd on Stupid Pills to try this maneuver.)

4. On the package of an Iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(No matter how fast of paced world we live in, ironing clothes on my body is not an option.)

5. Here is one of my favorites. This is on a child's Superman costume: "Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly." (OK, a childhood fantasy has now been ruined for me. So on the Bill Gates costume it must say: Warning: You are not a billionaire.)

6. This was found on a Chain Saw Sharpener: "Warning: Do not use while saw is running."
(Now there is some good advice if you want to sharpen more than one saw.)

7. On a bottle of Bowl Fresh: "Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommend that either be permitted to drink from toilet."
(Our policy with our Daughter was that after age 5, no more drinking out of the toilet!)

8. On a Hair Dryer: "Do not use in the bathtub."
(Unless you are wanting that curly look.)

9. Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(Alright, nothing wrong with a little reinforcement that the product is going to do what they say.)

10. On a cardboard sunshade for a car windshield: "Do not attempt to operate vehicle with sunshade in place."
(I'm from Kansas and have peeked through a hole in the frost before, but trying to see through cardboard is a bit much.)

As you can see, warning labels have now reached ludicrous proportions. Do we really need these obvious warnings pasted all over the products we buy? Most of us know that coffee is hot, and that we shouldn't use an electric device in water or that a Superman cape is not going to pass along mystic flying powers. Surely there is some survival instinct that is passed along somewhere along the way. But as I said before, the "Stupid Pills" are free and a lot of people are taking them. I'm sure there is someone out there that thinks that ironing their clothes on their body is going to save them a little time. And as long as there are attorneys that will represent these frivolous cases and courts that will hear them, we might as well read them and get a good laugh. Hopefully when we buy a new motorcycle we won't see something like: "Tipping over while moving could cause Road Rash."

Here's one we don't need a sticker for. We have all learned the hard way that touching the exhaust pipe when hot will burn you.

Have a good week, enjoy the evening riding and ride safe.
Barry

This Week's Bike Night Events

Wednesday Night

Kalahari Grill Wednesday Bike Night. What a cool place! For all of you on the West Side that would like a nice ride off the beaten path of the City, you need to check out the Kalahari Grill on Wednesday nights. Located in Vistancia just 5 miles West of Happy Valley Rd. and Lake Pleasant Rd. in Peoria. This is a very nice restaurant with a great indoor horseshoe bar and outdoor pass through bar that leads to a huge patio where you can relax while watching the sun set overlooking the desert . Kalahari Grill has an excellent menu and seriously good food and service. Enjoy Live Music on the patio every Wednesday for Bike Night from 7pm. Bike Night Specials include: $2.00 Off All Appetizers, Prime Rib Dinner $13.00, Domestic Drafts $2.50, Imported Drafts $3.50. Mrs. C. recommends the Ahi Tuna Tartar Appetizer. For more information call: 623-594-5947. Kalahari Grill is located at 28615 N. El Mirage Rd. in Peoria, AZ. Click Here for Photos Map and Menu. Kalahari Grill would also make the perfect Poker Stop for your next run.

Thursday Night

New!
E's Grill Thursday Bike Night. LIVE MUSIC with Dok & Gal every other Thursday starting June 5th. But take a beautiful ride out to Estrella Mountain to E's Grill every Thursday night. Enjoy their huge outdoor patio and entertainment area complete with stage and 3 large screen TV's. Equipped with one of the best mist systems you will find. Band plays outside. Enjoy E's Great Food and drink. Bike night specials include 1/2 off Appetizers and Happy Hour All Night Long. If you haven't been to E's, it is worth your ride out on Bike Night to enjoy Live Music, Great Food and a Good Time every other Thursday with Dok & Gal. And don't forget the Weekend Brunch to get your ride started. E's is located 8 miles South of 1-10 on Estrella Mountain Parkway. Turn right at the first stop sign in Estrella to 17750 West Elliot Road in Goodyear. You will have to take Dysart or Cotton Ln. South of 1-10 right now as Estrella Exit is closed.

New!
Vito & Nick's II Thursday Bike Night. A NEW Bike Night for the SOUTHEAST VALLEY.
Vito & Nick's II is putting their great outdoor patio to good use on Thursday nights with an all new bike night. This is a brand new location that features an outdoor patio, a comfortable dining area and bar. Bike night specials include $1.00 Off All Beer, $2.00 Off All Appetizers, $2.00 Off All Shots, $2.00 Off All Large Pizzas, Raffle Prizes. Get your raffle ticket when you ride in. Plenty of outside seating and dining inside. Stop by this Thursday for some Great Food and Fun! Vito & Nick's is located at 3321 E. Queen Creek Rd. (SE Corner of Queen Creek and Higley Rd.) 480-279-4482. Click Here to see Vito & Nicks.

Hooter's Thursday Bike at Peoria location. The parking lot will be blocked off and it will be a night for MOTORCYCLES. Ride by Hooters in Peoria every Thursday night for Prizes, Giveaways every 1/2 Hour, Specials and of course great service by the Hooter's Girls. Enjoy $2.00 Bud and Bud Light Pints and $5.00 Bombers as well as those tasty Hooter's Wings. Sit on the huge outdoor patio and watch your favorite sporting event or inside with TV's every where you look. Enjoy this perfect riding weather with a ride to Hooter's this Thursday. Plan to check out the first night. 16550 N. 83rd Ave. just South of Bell Rd. 623-776-0123.

Fuzzy's Southwest Sports Grill Bike Night. Riders on the far west side in the Surprise area finally have a Bike Night. The brand new Fuzzy's Southwest will be hosting a bike night on Thursday Nights. Fuzzy's features an outdoor patio, 17 HD TV's, Pool Table, Large Horseshoe Bar and all glass front to see the bikes roll in. Enjoy Great Food, Pool, and Your Favorite Sporting Events all on new Flat Screens every Thursday Night at The Newest Bike Night In the Far West Valley. Bike Night Specials Include: 2.25 Corona's, Corona Light, Dos XX, Dos XX Amber, Pacifico, Tecate. $3.00 Jalapeno Poppers. $4.00 Super Spuds. $5.00 Chicken Tenders. $6.00 Baby Burgers. From 6-9pm. Fuzzy's is located 18795 N. Reems Rd. in Surprise at the corner of Reems and Grand Ave.

The Bike Night At The Billet Bar. Voted "BEST BIKER BAR IN PHOENIX" by New Times. There is no better place to watch all the Bikes ride down Scottsdale road than from The Billet Bar Patio. The Billet is ALWAYS packed with bikes Every Day. Stop by and take a look at the New Flamed Booths on the Paradise Patio. The new bars front and rear provide spacious seating, fresh air atmosphere, perfect temperature and courteous staff. The food is amazing and always the latest in cold libations await. You can sit at the back bar and watch your favorite TV on any of the seven big inch televisions. Play pool, listen to the latest music and socialize. The front patio seats over 75 people and is perfect for people watching on Scottsdale Rd. The Billet Bar is located on 3752 N. Scottsdale Rd. Check it out this Thursday night and all weekend long. Info: at 480-941-1876. Click Here for the New Billet Bar Page with pictures.

Every Saturday and Sunday

Western Trails Ranch Bike Weekends. We are right on your way to some of the finest riding in the State of Arizona! Stop by on your way out or way back in to town. Biker Weekends with live rock music Saturday and Sunday afternoons from 1 to 5. Since summer is upon us we go to our Saturday Night Live Bands, 7 to 11 pm. NO COVER CHARGE! You asked for it you got it! Camping and RV spots available, Saturday Nights only. Bring a sleeping bag and or tent, camping will be inside the venue. No food or alcohol can be brought in. Check our website calendar for all the details. Friday's all day all night $2.00 well, wine & beer, including draft beer. Four regulation horseshoe pits, pool tables, life size chess and checkers. NOW OPEN at the Ranch - Stage Stop Steakhouse & BBQ. This week Wed. thru Sun. buy one hamburger or cheeseburger and get one FREE! The restaurant opens at 10am. The Ranch is now open Wednesday's through Sunday's, food and full bar! (623) 521-0366. We are located at 37823 NW Grand Ave mile marker 124 ½ Morristown AZ smack dab in the middle of Surprise & Wickenburg - our website is westerntrailsranch.com

Every Sunday

Salty Senorita Sunday Biker Brunch. Sunday from 10:00am - 3pm. Stop for a great brunch, some giveaways and the Salty's VIP Card good for 15% off of your food. This is a great location for brunch on the West side, you will not believe how cool this place is. Mrs. C. and I had it last Sunday and it was excellent while dining on their 3000 sq. foot outdoor patio with great music and an excellent sound system that backs up to the baseball field at Peoria Sports Complex. Salty's Sunday Brunch features a "Build-Your-Own Omelet for just $7.99, possibly the best omelet you will ever have, or you can order off of Salty's Super Brunch menu. Salty's also has a Create-Your-Own Bloody Mary. Plan to make the first one on Sunday, April 13th. Salty's in Peoria is located at 8011 W. Paradise Lane just one block South of Bell Rd. and one block East of 83rd Ave. See you this Sunday. See Photos of "Who Was There" previous Sundays.

This Week

Saturday, May 31st
Chester's Harley-Davidson Ride With Us to Prescott and Jerome. This is going to be a beautiful ride and it is FREE. Chester's Ride With Us is quickly becoming a popular event every month at the dealership. Riders from all over the valley make their way to Chester's for these rides. This is a good opportunity to ride with some friends that you haven't met yet. Saddle up with Chester's Harley-Davidson for a fun 308 mile ride to Prescott and Jerome Saturday, May 31st. Ride Starts and Ends at Chester's located at 922 S. Country Club Dr. in Mesa. Registration from 8:00am - 8:45am. Kickstands up at 9am. Stopping for lunch at The Office Restaurant in Prescott. Return time is 4pm. This is a FREE ride. Call 480-894-0404 to reserve your spot.

Saturday, May 31st
The Inaugural Bear Necessities Ride. This ride is to benefit pediatric cancer patients at Banner Children’s Hospital at Banner Desert Medical Center. The purpose of the ride is to collect various items including toys, art supplies, books and movies to brighten the days of hospitalized children. 4:00pm until ??? Start location at the Chandler Elks Lodge #2429 located at 1775 W. Chandler Blvd. in Chandler. For more information contact Melissa at 602-568-5313. See Flyer for all details.

Saturday, May 31st
Buddy Stubbs Harleys and Hot Rods. Join Buddy Stubbs for their monthly last Saturday of the month party this month featuring Harleys and Hot Rods. Come enjoy free food prepared by our H.O.G. Chapter and check out some really cool classic cars! Awards will be given based on people's choice. As always, there will be raffles, a pool tournament and great live music and motorcycle museum tours with Buddy featuring over 50 Vintage motorcycles in the onsite museum! Event from 11am - 3pm. And while you are there take a look at the new 2008 Harley-Davidsons and the latest in Motorclothes. Ride by Buddy Stubbs and enjoy the festivities at 13850 N. Cave Creek Rd. in Phoenix, AZ. 602-971-3400.

Saturday, May 31st
Arrowhead Harley-Davidson Monthly Free Breakfast. Arrowhead Harley-Davidson wants to invite all it's great customers to a customer appreciation breakfast on Saturday May 31st from 8:30am till 10:30 am!. Join us for a FREE pancake, sausage and egg breakfast. Thank you for all your support and business! Ride by Arrowhead Harley-Davidson the last Saturday of Every Month for a free breakfast. First one will be May 31st at 8:30am. LOTS OF GREAT GIFTS FOR FATHERS DAY! Men's mechanic shirts, swim suits & silk shirts from Tori richards, beach towels,pool cues, poker cards, clocks & tin signs for the garage and more! Arrowhead Harley-Davidson is located at 16130 N. Arrowhead Fountain Center Dr. in Peoria. 623-247-5542.

Saturday 31st - Cottonwood, AZ
12th annual Jester memorial run for lost Brothers & Sisters. Starts with Memorial services & Blessing of the bikes. Registration from 9:30am until 10:45am at K & A Cycle 595 S. 6th st. on the corner of 6th st and HWY 89A in Cottonwood 11:00am. Memorial Procession thru the streets of the Verde Valley followed by a beautiful 76 mile Poker run thru Page Springs, Cornville, Beavercreek, Lake Montezuma, & Camp Verde End Run ( CELEBRATION of LIFE PARTY ) at the Chaparral Bar in the heart of Main street Cottonwood. $15 SINGLE and $25 COUPLE. Registration includes; Free Poker Hand, Food, Live Music, Raffles, 50/50, Run pins for the first 150 signed in. Run Shirt are available for sale. Proceeds to benefit the Downed Riders Fund. For more information call Diane at 928-639-1691.