Well, this is that time of year that I like to take a week off from new
editorial to give myself a little break to recharge the creative juices for next year. I was doing some late Christmas
shopping this year and was reminded of a story that I wrote about in December of 2002, that is still valid
today. In fact, I think about it every time I go to Costco, or anywhere else for that matter. It is a story
that is timeless and everyone can relate to. In fact, you probably have experienced something similar while
doing your Christmas shopping.
Mrs. C. and I would like to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and best wishes for a Happy Riding and Prosperous New Year. I would also like to thank you for your continued support of Cyclerides.com along with your replies and well wishes throughout the year. We are continually humbled by your loyalty and it is incredible to see the good things that motorcycle riders are able to accomplish as a group. Thank you so much. We look forward to a fun and exciting 2008. I invite you to view some of the many rides and thousands of photos on Cyclerides.com.
This is the story of the "Line Killer".
Excerpt from the Cyclerides.com Weekly Update 12/23/2002.
My how time flies. It is now the 23rd of December. That means I am probably
half done with my Christmas shopping. As usual, I got started 3 days before the big day with my annual Christmas
shopping stop at Costco. You think that place is busy on a normal day, you should try it the last weekend before
Christmas. After driving around in circles for several minutes I finally found a parking spot just within
site of the building, but that was fine, the long walk gave me some time to do some brainstorming on some gift
As I approached the store I grabbed a cart, flashed my card and proceeded inside the store where there was a nasty bottleneck that stopped everybody. Well, almost everybody. There was a little old lady from that apparently didn't see the brake lights on the carts ahead and crashed into MY rear quarter. After she apologized several times, I told her that it was alright, my rear bumper had enough padding to be rated higher than the typical 5 mph crash. Hoping things would improve I continued on to look for gifts and pick up a few staples. So I got my annual 40 pound jar of peanut butter, 3 gallon jar of jelly, 100 razor blade refills, 500 Christmas cookies (for a party of 10), and knowing that I was going to be spending some time with the in-laws, I picked up a bottle of 10,000 Tylenol Extra Strength tablets. But it's all a good deal right? After getting shutout on that perfect gift idea I headed to the checkout area to scope out the fastest line.
I've talked about this before, but it happens so often that it bears repeating. Given my disdain for long checkout lanes, I now have to decide which of these 30 plus checkout lanes is going to move the fastest. My job is to sniff out the persons who are the "Line Killers" and not get behind them. You know the ones; can't find their checkbook, card is expired, can't remember their PIN, has the one item in the store without a UPC code on it, slow writer, asks stupid questions, yada, yada, yada. I know you are shaking your head in agreement about now, we've all been behind them. These people are the shopper version of carbon monoxide, they are a colorless, odorless killer of lines, and you don't know you have been affected until your line has been rendered useless by one of these silent line assassins.
After careful deliberation and a scan of the available lines to find potential offenders, I pick out a line to settle in for the quick exit. But suddenly, I saw what was a nice opening in the line next to me and quickly moved my cart to that line. (Note to self, go with your first impression) Next I took note of the people I would have been behind in the other lines to see if I had picked the right one. This isn't a new activity for me, I do the same thing on the freeway when I pick a lane to drive in. OK... it's more of a sickness than an activity, but it gives me something to do while I am waiting. So sure enough, before the wheels stopped rolling on my cart in the new line, a "line killer" rears its ugly head and made his presence known for the next 10 minutes. It really hurts when you see the guy in the line next to you, that was in the place you could have been, walk out the door and you still have 3 people in front of you. I was watching the people in the lines I did not choose, go through them like 10 gallons of water through a 9 gallon funnel.
Unbeknownst to me, the clerk in the line that I so suddenly rebuffed had been watching the whole thing. She even caught my eye and tried to console me. She said: "Sorry bout that hun, it happens to me all the time. I can never pick the right line." While those words didn't get me out of there any faster, the gesture did rate high on the misery loves company chart. We shared a little laugh and I was no worse for the wear. Worse things could happen. All it did was remind me that I was now 5 out of 7 for picking bad lines this shopping season. So to save others from this kind of frustration, I think these people should have to wear a button on their back that say's: BEWARE! I'm a line killer, enter this line at your own risk. That would save us all a lot of time and frustration.
Merry Chrismas Happy New Year From Cyclerides.com!
Highlights This Week
Saturday, December 29th
Buddy Stubbs Hogs and Dogs. Join Buddy Stubbs for their
last Saturday of the month HOGS and Dogs. Live Music, Free Food.
Saturday, December 29th
Chester's Harley-Davidson "Ride With Us". Looking to take that one last ride
of the year with some friends that you haven't met yet? Join Chester's Free Ride To Wickenburg.
This Week's Bike Night Events
Take a ride on a Tuesday Night to the Chandler HD Bike Night at the Tilted Kilt. Bike night is every Tuesday night with food and drink specials, but Chandler Harley will be doing a special with live music the first Tuesday of every month. Enter drawing to win door prizes and gift certificates. For November, look forward to another special night at the Kilt. There will be Raffles, Vendors, Bike Competition, Portable Dyno Competition. Watch next week for weekly event specials. Bike night hosted at the Tilted Kilt in Tempe located at 660 W. Warner Rd.
New! Starting January 3rd
Fuzzy's Southwest Sports Grill Bike Night. Riders on the far west side in the Surprise area finally have a Bike Night. The brand new Fuzzy's Southwest will be hosting a bike night on Thursday Nights. Fuzzy'a features an outdoor patio, 17 HD TV's, Pool Table, Large Horseshoe Bar and all glass front to see the bikes roll in. Fuzzy's is located 18795 N. Reems Rd. in Surprise at the corner of Reems and Grand Ave. More details to follow next week.
Chester's Harley-Davidson Hooters & Harleys Thursday Bike Night. Join Chester's Harley-Davidson as they start their new Bike Night at Mesa Hooters located at 6730 E. Superstition Springs Blvd. Just South of U.S. 60 on Superstition Springs Dr. Specials, 1/2 off appetizers. Raffles and Games. Biker Punch Cards. Ride from the dealerships at 5:30pm. Chester's HD is located at 922 S. Country Club in Mesa. For more information call 480-894-0404.
The Bike Night At The Billet Bar. Voted "BEST BIKER BAR IN PHOENIX" by New Times. There is no better place to watch all the Bikes ride down Scottsdale road than from The Billet Bar Patio. The Billet is ALWAYS packed with bikes Every Day. Stop by and take a look at the New Flamed Booths on the Paradise Patio. The new bars front and rear provide spacious seating, fresh air atmosphere, perfect temperature and courteous staff. The food is amazing and always the latest in cold libations await. You can sit at the back bar and watch your favorite TV on any of the seven big inch televisions. Play pool, listen to the latest music and socialize. The front patio seats over 75 people and is perfect for people watching on Scottsdale Rd. The Billet Bar is located on 3752 N. Scottsdale Rd. Check it out this Thursday night and all weekend long. Info: at 480-941-1876. Click Here for the New Billet Bar Page with pictures.
Every Saturday and Sunday
Starts January 4th!
Western Trails Ranch Bike Weekends with Live Music featuring Doc & Gal Rocking the Ranch every Saturday and Sunday from 12pm - 4pm with their Classic Rock Renditions, costume changes, and jokes. 12 Acres of pure fun in a Laid Back Old West Town. Two Large Dance Floors for those that want to cut loose. Four Regulation Horse Shoe Pits, Pool Table Room, Life Size Chess & Checkers. Nothing beats an open fire –lots of wood burning fire pits to keep you warm all winter long, we supply the wood. Bar Food, Snacks, & Appetizers available. Secure Motorcycle Parking in the “Steel Horse Corral”. Western Trails Ranch is also a Special Event Venue! You can Rent the facility for your SPECIAL EVENT, Corporate Party, Concert, Weddings, Charity Events, Western Events or BIKE RUN at “The Ranch”. 623-521-0367. Western Trails is located (Map) at 37823 NW Grand Avenue Mile Marker 124 1/2
Morristown AZ. Click Here for more information.
Cave Creek Corral Bike Weekends. This
is the patio that we have all been waiting for in Cave Creek. The
new 4000 Sq. Ft. patio at Harold's is finally finished complete with misters, TV's and an outdoor bar. There is plenty of room to put some tables
together and hang out with your riding group for breakfast, lunch or the cold beverage of your choice.
Saturday: Every Saturday Patio Party 12-5. 50% off appetizers (under $10). Drink Specials, $2.00 Bud / Bud light Bottles, $3.00 16oz Bud / Bud Light Aluminum Bottles & Widmer Hefeweizen Pints. $3.00 Margaritas, Sunrise, etc.. (new cuervo flavors; lime, orange, & pineapple)
Sunday: Every Sunday. All you can eat Breakfast Buffet $8.99 (from 8am - Noon). Live Music from 2-6.
Sunday's are SERVICE INDUSTRY DAY (from 8am to close). Are you in the Service Industry. Golf, Hotel, Restaurant, etc. Show us your check stub & receive 20% off your entire bill because we appreciate all that you do.
(not valid on already discounted items)
You can also choose from their full breakfast, lunch and dinner menu every day of the week. Plenty of new motorcycle parking right in front of the patio. A great destination patio for your weekend rides. Harold's is located at 6895 E. Cave Creek Rd., in Cave Creek. 480-488-1906. There are still no tickets being given for DB violations. Just continue to keep the noise down as much as possible when riding through Carefree.
The Popular Sugar Daddy's Sunday Biker Brunch. Voted Best Brunch in Phoenix New Times 2006. Sugar
Daddy's is under new ownership and is undergoing a half million dollar makeover. The outdoor patio is being completely
upgraded with new granite table tops and will be available for the new $9.00
all you can eat brunch. Sundays from 10am - 4pm. Live Music from 10am - 2pm.
Enjoy the patio with $2 mimosa's, $4 Skye Bloody Mary's.
Buffet includes: French Toast, Fruit, Eggs Benedict, Potatoes, Rice Veggies, Salad, Pasta Salad, Chicken Marsala, Biscuits and Gravy and much more. Sugar Daddy's is located at 3102 N. Scottsdale Rd. in Scottsdale. 480-970-6556.
Saturday, December 29th
Buddy Stubbs Hogs and Dogs. Join Buddy Stubbs for their monthly last Saturday of the month HOGS and Dogs. From 11am - 3pm enjoy free hot dogs and soda, Live Music, Pool Tournament, 50/50 Raffles, Bikini Bike Wash and at 12:30pm take a tour of over 50 Vintage motorcycles in the onsite museum with Buddy Stubbs. And while you are there take a look at the new 2008 Harley-Davidsons and the latest in Motorclothes. Ride by Buddy Stubbs and enjoy the festivities at 13850 N. Cave Creek Rd. in Phoenix, AZ. 602-971-3400.
Saturday, December 29th
Chester's Harley-Davidson "Ride With Us". Looking to take that one last ride of the year with some friends that you haven't met yet? Saddle up with Chester's Harley-Davidson for a FREE ride to Lake Pleasant and Wickenburg this Saturday. Ride Starts and Ends at Chester's located at 922 S. Country Club Dr. in Mesa. Registration from 8am - 9:30am. Kick stands up at 10am. Stopping at the Mine Shaft , Wickenburg. Lunch available $15 per person. Approximately 170 miles round trip. Return time 4pm. Return trip through Vulture Mine Rd. Call 480-894-0404 to reserve your spot. Click Here for Map and more information.
This one is a classic from an old Johnny Carson show featuring the Case of the "Copper
Clappers". You might have seen it before, but it is still amusing. Click Here to View.
Here is the a video that has been going around the internet. It is a news report of a Veteran in Reno that decides to take matters into his own hands when he sees an American flag flying below a Mexican flag. Click Here to View.
This is a great story of a High School basketball manager that finally gets his day on the court. See what else he does when he gets his big opportunity. You will enjoy this one. Click Here to View.
The car commercial people are at it again. Trying to get your attention. Click Here to View.